How do you loose weight quickly? (joke)?

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10-lb
weight loss program.
The next day, there’s a knock on the door, and there
stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old
babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running
shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the
weight loss Company.
The sign reads, ‘If you can catch me, you can h ave m e.’
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the
same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted
to find he has lost 10 lbs as promised .
He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20-pound program. (next part coming within 1 minute)
He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20-pound program.
The next day there’s a knock at the door and there
stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has
ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a
sign around her neck that reads, ‘If you catch me, you can have me’.
Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best,
but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens
with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs as promised. (last part coming within 1 minute)
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day, 50-pound program.
‘Are you sure?’ asks the representative on the phone.
‘This is our most rigorous program.’
‘Absolutely,’ he replies, ‘I haven’t felt this good in years.’
The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he
opens it, he finds a huge muscular guy standing there
wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, ‘If I catch you, your a$$ is mine.’
He lost 63 pounds that week.

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38 Responses to “How do you loose weight quickly? (joke)?”

  1. alexgilbert92 said:

    HAHA! nnice

  2. scotland Snp said:
  3. lickonsumhonee said:

    funny

  4. Hannah** said:

    lmao i loved that soo much. Have a star =)

  5. ♥DeLiCiOuS♥ said:

    LOL!!! NIAAAAACE…♥

  6. Joe Jonas Fan♥♪♫☻☼♦▼◄☺☻█§▒√╦öëà said:

    lol thats funny but gross at the same time ☺☺☺☺☺

  7. Jolpie said:

    Hehe heard that joke before but it’s still comic gold, and yes Linkin Park does rule! =P

  8. misshardhat said:

    And The Boston Marathon!!! lmao good joke

  9. hy_smile345 said:

    omg thats one of the funniest things I’ve ever read

  10. Cristal said:

    lmao

    that one was good.

  11. pinky said:

    Lol, that’s funny.

  12. Ichuru said:

    hahah!!!!!!Lol!!!!!!!

  13. AboveAllElse said:

    Got me laughing. Very nice

  14. dioltas said:

    lol

  15. Emily, Are You On Your... said:

    HILARIOUS! =]

  16. Joe said:

    Lol!
    That’s a good one.

  17. Kimmie said:

    Oh my gosh! I love it!!!! LOL! Star to you! Thanks! I needed a laugh!

  18. *LOVE AND DEATH...* BFMV said:

    HAHA!!! FUNNY!!! ^-^ I SHOULD TELL MY FRIEND TO ORDER THAT! SHE’S BEEN TRYING TO FIND A PRODUCT SO SHE COULD LOOSE WEIGHT!

  19. Harry G said:

    lol he shouldve sticked to the 20 pound program
    star for you

  20. psophia123 said:

    Nice!

  21. Lola said:

    lmbo!!! that was great!! lol hopefully learned a lesson with that too! hahaha

  22. Sq∪∈∈g¡∈ said:

    haha thats great.. lol

  23. Crissisone said:

    best joke so far. LMAO

  24. purrlvr said:

    lmao that was awesome

  25. HS said:

    ROFLMAO…did you type all that out or copy-paste from somewhere??!!

  26. marisa said:

    AHAHAHA, REALLY LONG, BUT FUNNY =0)

  27. Bebop (the evil hamster) said:

    you beat me to it, I was going to tell that one next week (though I used richard simmons).
    star for you.

  28. Lily said:

    That is hilarious. Great joke 🙂 and thanks for sharing!

  29. *Frenzy* said:

    i love how the last line is so melo!!

  30. FuRoRe said:

    hahahaha lol gawwwwd!!! that is freakingly funny hahaha!!! DAMN FUNNY got to use this one for sure

  31. Romeo and Juliet <3 said:

    HAHA!

  32. I <3 Gerard Way!! said:

    lol, that was funny!

  33. Ťîff§ ¼ ßΰłłəя said:

    OMG!!! that is tooo funny!!!!=)
    thanks

  34. Brickcity03 said:

    lol…ty for the joke

  35. 黒いサファイア said:

    LOL, that must be a good start for the day…:D

  36. Bodacious baby said:

    LMAO! Thanks!!!!!! Know how I lost 225 pounds in one night….I left him and divorced him! Best weight program ever!!!! LMAO!

  37. RokrDude-ShohaiL said:

    COOOOOOOOLLLLLLZZZ!!! JOTILZ!!! IT MEANS WAY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GRAET!!!

  38. Kwo said:

    haha hilarious! i love it!




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