How does one fit in with the party crowd in Apartment complexes?
Every Friday night/Saturday night there are parties and such in my complex. I live in a community of apartment buildings near NC State and I am looking to fit in with cool people. I have been to a few get-togethers but I didn’t always feel like I fit right in. Some guys have even told me to leave. What can I do to fit in with some crowds?
I’m a nice guy and always social with anyone.
I should really have tons of friends but making new ones are getting a little tough.
August 3rd, 2010 at 12:09 pm
To be welcomed on Friday and Saturday, you have to start working on Monday and Tuesday. Here are some possible ways to begin.
1. Avoid labeling people as cool or uncool. You first have to see yourself and everyone as equals. Love yourself and love everybody else. Don’t place everyone into specific groups based upon stereotypes and archetypes.
2. Change your goal. Don’t focus on being accepted during Friday and Saturday night parties. These events are intended for people who already have connections. First, you have to create a connection to the people having these events. Be friendly and courteous. Talk to them about the things they are interested in. Ask questions but avoid yes/no questions. Discuss their passions with them and be genuinely interested in their conversations. Invite them over to your place for lunch, dinner or for your own event. Eventually, you will create a connection and be welcomed into their lives.
3. Avoid attempting to change other people or being judgmental. Allow everyone else to make their own decisions and respect those decisions.
4. Take control of your life. Focus on yourself and change your negative attitudes and behavior. Don’t be the person you are now. Be the confident and positive person you are intended to be.
5. Discover your passions. Become an interesting person with interesting ideas. Think for yourself. Don’t base your ideas on the thoughts of others. Be original. Don’t agree with someone to gain their acceptance. Don’t argue. Enjoy the ideas and opinions of others, even when they contradict your own.
6. Don’t be nice. Be good. Here is an example.
Nice: A bully picks on your son in school. You teach your son to walk away and ignore the bully. Or you teach your son to stand up for himself.
Good: You invite the bully to your home for dinner with your family. Your family shows the bully love and respect. You and your family become an example for the bully to follow.
Nice men are considered too saccharine. They often find themselves left out or overlooked because they are too one dimensional and uninteresting. Practice being good instead. Be an example for other people to emulate. Don’t practice shyness. Be confident. Be gregarious. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. You will gain respect and friendship.