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How do I help my very overweight fiance to lose weight?

Please – no critical or unhelpful answers. If you disagree with anything then just don’t answer.
He wants to lose weight – he did even before we were together, and he’s clinically obese. We sometimes go to the gym together (depending on work etc), and I encourage him all I can. But he struggles, particularly when he’s out with the guys and they’re eating curries and drinking lager. Any good suggestions? Thanks.

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27 Responses to “How do I help my very overweight fiance to lose weight?”

  1. flunkywoman said:

    He needs to want to lose weight, if he really does, he will get into the frame of mind, and cut out the so called Friends that encourage the bad habits of curries and beer!

    Visit the GP and get a proper health check done before you begin any diet and exercises, the GP will be able to advise on the best methods, but the only real way is determination and self discipline

  2. positivedraw said:

    Walking swimming and gardening are good. Does he drive alot? Can he walk instead?

    Sometimes if you have a ‘project’ to do such as a garden, then you have less time to snack.

  3. orfeo_fp said:

    ok i think support him is most important, have fun with loosing weight and dont be to critical if he doesnt loose to much at first, but make a big deal when he does, make him feel great about himself and he will push himself harder to loose weight

  4. james j said:

    tell him no weight-loss no nookie

  5. sh0rtyluff said:

    Tell him when he works out and loses weight that you just CAN’T get him off your mind and you just wanna rip his clothes off and jump on him. every. single. day.

  6. Gypsie said:

    He has to want to do it himself, unless you are with him all day and physically stopping him from eating junk then there is nothing you can do. just be supportive but tell him your worried about his health.
    good luck.
    and I know a lot of people will knock it but the Atkins diet really worked for me…found it easy to stick to and lost 3 1/2 stone in 2 months. Felt loads more energetic so wanted to do lots of walking etc.People will say it’s not healthy but neither is being obese so if he can’t stick to a low fat diet maybe this is an option.

  7. Barneyboy said:

    Please let me say ‘Buy him a gimp mask’ please.

  8. Princess Pink Fairy said:

    Probably the best thing to do is to make sure that, when the two of you are eating together, you have a sensible, well-balanced, low fat meal. Try just going for walks instead of the gym – the exercise is just as good. If he REALLY wants to lose weight he’ll cut down on the drinking and curries – the alcohol is more dangerous than his weight!

    Don’t nag and don’t try to force him to do anything – if he wants to, he will.

    Good luck to both of you and I’m sure you’ll get there in the end.

  9. mrosegetaways said:

    As someone who has battled weight for over 20 years, positive support is always best.
    Remember that gyms bulk you up, especially males.
    If he is obese (25 pounds or more over ideal weight), one should first get medical attention.

    I was hypnotized 3 weeks ago for weight loss, $40 cash money back guarantee, lifetime. The hypnotist puts positive suggestions like eat only foods good for you, drink water with each meal, exercise, etc.

    It has been great for me. But, each person is different so he should see a Doctor and you should encourage that.

  10. pauley said:

    he will have to change his social life dramatically, i gave up just the beer and nothing else and lost 2 stone in 6 months. maybe there is a fun passtime that the two of you can do together because exercise on your own is boring.

  11. Moviequeen said:

    By telling him to really buckle down if he really wants to lose weight. I think that it is fine to eat sweets every now and then, but not too often. Tell him to cut back on his eating, tell him to drink lots of water, and instead of going to the gym, why don’t the two of you go for walks on the weekends or when you are both off of work.

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  13. Kerry L said:

    He needs motivation before he can do anything – give him reasons as to why he should lose weight – and make them reasons HE wants to lose weight – i/e health reasons, to be fitter, to be more attractive (for himself – again) – when he’s been convinced, you can look to the method – join a gym, get a PT, do a sport he enjoys – maybe you can go/do things with him? – to give him more motivation,
    then there’s diet – but that’s a whole new ballgame and revolves around him changing his attitude to food/ and therefore his lifestyle and habits – good luck!
    oh! and get him to let his friends know of his plans – then they can be supportive and maybe help – if they’re not, he needs new friends!..

  14. oceanlady580 said:

    dont be critical when he slips up while he is losing weight encourage him to run or jog go with him, the workout may be good for you too. get him to exercise like sit-ups or running in place and jumping jacks put on some music and join along with him he will feel better you care enough that he wants to improve his health and it will bring you much closer as a couple

  15. Lauren S said:

    Cook healthy but interesting meals for dinner – fish, steamed veggies, grilled chicken etc…and as far as excercise goes, for larger people, the most effective method of getting fitter is swimming, so maybe you can suggest a couple of trips a week to your local swimming pool, and gradually build up the amount of time you spend in the water. As for the beer/curry problem – why dont you suggest going away for the weekend when you can afford it – it doesnt have to be far, or luxurious, maybe a country B&B, where he is away from temptation, and you can go for romantic walks…that sort of thing.

  16. M T said:

    First,Have him go to a dietitian they show you the healthy way to loose weight and how he will not be deprived and eat what he likes. When you can eat that chocolate or drink beer and still loose weight and not feel denied it is easy you don’t even know it is a diet because it becomes a life style change.
    Second, going to the gym is great but you need to be an example also! Yep you need to get rid of anything unhealthy in the house and only eat healthy.
    Third when temptation is there is is 100 times worse. Stay away from things that make him week like BB Q’s, nights out with the guys, birthday parties. You add them back in when you meet your goals because you are stronger then.
    Good luck 2 u both

  17. 343432 3 said:

    Your a brave girl going out with a fat man , not alot of girls would do that, well definately not me, good for anyway, for helping him out, if he really truely want s to be slim , stop going out on takeaways , and drinking alot, and do alot more exercise, like walking


    get up in the morning eat apple

    go out everyday do at least 1 an hours walk

    luunch time eat sandwich , salands

    dinner time eat a proper healthy meal

    like chiken , no rice, if he wants rice brown rice , nan bread

    thats it have a glass of milk at before going to bed

    make a new rottine to go to sleep early by 900 pm and wake up at 900 or 8

    walk definately everyday if he starts keeping to this rule only for about 8 weeks even they will be a different the , he can be very slim in 6 months time good luck , do as I say it will work


  18. montenapoleone said:

    It’s good that you go to the gym together. I think you need to build on this and do more activities together. Small things like cycling to work once a week really help. Maybe some of his mates do sports that he could join in?

  19. kandaphati said:

    He himself should keep in mind that losing weight is NOT POSSIBLE if he does not eat less.
    I do not know if this answer is helpful but it is mainly up to HIM, not you or our suggestions here.

  20. pipi08_2000 said:

    A diabetic diet, whether or not you have the disease is, in my opinion, the best diet. Watching carbs and fat are the most critical things to look for. Don’t listen to the calorie counters…I know it is important to limit calories too, BUT, you can burn them off with exercise. It is the fat that sticks to you and carbs are nothing but sugar.

    From my own experience in dieting, cutting carbonated beverages from my daily intake has decreased my stomach considerably. I also drink lots of water.

    Unless your fiance is determined, no matter what people are doing around him, nothing will work. You have to have the will power to succeed in any venture.

  21. DAN the BRIT said:

    get him to join a slimming club like weight-watcher if you need to lose a bit go with him to i lost 3 stone in 8 month doing it make sure he go every week even if he has had a bad week they will give him plans on what he can and should not eat if you live together stop buying thing like crisp or biscuits as the temptation is always their and eat what he has it will be long and hard work if you do it as a team it is easier good luck

  22. Jennifer B said:

    you can not help anyone lose weight. the person has to want to. i used to be overweight i made excuses why i couldn’t lose weight until one day i made up my mind on my own. the more you talk about it especially around them it will become more of a challenge. remember why you fell in love with this person. i am sure you saw through their outward appearance and saw their heart.

  23. saywot? said:

    first of all, he does need to have the desire to lose weight, but you can also encourage him.

    encourage him to join weight watchers or another such group. they often have classes for males only. tell him you really would love to have him healthy , so that you do not need to be widowed young, and that it is not just for vanity’s sake to lose the weight
    you sound quite sensible and genuine about helping him. perhaps speak to his friends and tell them how important it is and that they are welcome to his company , but not to pressurise him into eating foods and having too many drinks which are off limits.

    let him know that you are not going to be his jail keeper, and that you understand that the wheels will fall off some times, and that most importantly you will not be judging him for that. take it one day at a time.

    if he is a bit shy about joining a group , then buy the odd magazine which has inspirational stories in, which may help him.

    if he knows why he has gotten so large, he should work on any outstanding issues,so that he can move forward.

    if you live together , try to eat the same healthy foods as him ,and don’t be taunting him with your snacks.make sure you have some alternatives which are better for his work in progress.

    there are so many diets for the overweight out there, that it can be very confusing. do some research, but try to follow one that is a way of life that he can follow long term and hopefully permanently.
    wish you well.

  24. bored_at_work said:

    Exercise and dieting helps a lot. Suggest getting rid of some things like cheese that just add calories to a meal. For exercise suggest not just running and cardio, but also light weight training, where he does a lot of reps on lower weight to get toned. A) it works and b) its less tiring and usually appeals more to people that don’t really want to work out. Another thing that helps is drinking enough water. The average person should drink about 60 oz of water i believe (check into that), and getting enough water can actually boost your metabolism. That’s a fact.

  25. willow_the_witchuk said:

    If he wants to lose weight encorage him to go to weight watchers, as with them they do a points system and he can then save some points to let him go out with his mates and not feel left out. Keep exercising as that will add up points for him and just be there for him.

  26. claire n said:

    try walking for an hour at night time its good exersise and u get to spend time together and u can go for a walk any time of the night.

  27. Jill H said:

    I use this product and it works great for me and a whole lot of other people


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